Reinvent The Self!

One day, I blamed A for not having Faith in B, as if that A is wrong! Then, after giving it a thought, I realized how fool I was! Really! After all, isn’t Faith a personal matter? Isn’t it immature to force anybody to have Faith in the same thing that I have my faith in? That thing can be a Religion, an Ideology, a Person, God or anything for that matter.
I do agree that Faith drives life. Be it for agnostics, for theists or for atheists. What needs to be known is that it’s just Faiththat drives Life and not something that the Faith is conferred upon! Remember that story wherein Rama was told by his Guru Vasistha to kill Hanumanwith his arrow? He just couldn’t! Rama, who Hanuman has an Absolute Faith in, could not do anything. What does it prove? Who protected Hanuman? Is it Rama or his Faith in Rama?
Then why did I think otherwise and blamed A? Why do I always keep on changing my views? Why can’t I be firm? Probably because of two things; Confusion (Ignorance) and my Instincts.
So much of Fractional knowledge imparts me a false sense of having Wisdom, a false sense of having understood the Reality. I always believe that ‘I’ am Right. I always try to preserve that false sense of ‘I’. I often become more reactive than being reflective. ‘What’s in it for me?’ is basically where my all thinking revolves around. In short, I fail to join the dots, that is, to see a bigger picture!
Am I coming to the root cause? Isn’t it the Ego? Yes. It’s the Ego which Confusion and Instincts stem from. It’s really easy to come to this Mother of all causes! Isn’t it? So Ego is the root of all my erratic immature behavior.
Sometimes I think ‘do I really have to battle with my Ego’? After all it is His Yuga, the Kaliyuga! Will I be able to win over Him?
I now have realized that I cannot and cannot defeat Him. He’s so powerful. I never know in which form he would manifest himself. I just fail to even catch Him, let alone eliminating Him!
Remember the story of Vikram and Betal? My ego also seems to be enjoying playing Hide-n-Seek with me. Now in this case, what should I do? Should I still keep on seeking, recognizing Him? I will never win. It’s Given! Because of my inability to recognize Him, I will always feel that I don’t have any Ego. Why? Because he’s hidden! I just cannot seek Him. And by the way, who is seeking Him? Isn’t it my Ego Himself?
So how many more deceptions still to face? Who knows?
So if everything in me is ‘I’, the Ego, if everything that I do, sense or think is because of the ego, I just wonder how omnipresent the Nature of the Ego is!
Till now, I used to think that I interact with persons/things. But do I really interact with them? Aren’t they actually the images that I have formed of them in my mind? If it’s true, then I interact with myself! Isn’t it correct?
Now, coming to the more interesting question! Is the Ego good or bad? The categorical answer to this has so far been Yes, Ego is Bad! Just look at the audacity and guts with which my Ego says he is indeed bad! It’s as if he is challenging somebody with ‘Catch me if you can’ attitude. He definitely seems to be challenging somebody with such dare! Who is he challenging? This question prompted me to think that there must be something else, other than my Ego, residing in me! What could it be then?
Can my body and mind be in control of ‘that’ that Ego loves to challenge? Why is my Ego always trying to evoke or invoke that ‘that’ in me? He must be doing this with some purpose. Well, isn’t that ‘that’ my Awareness? Voila! There I am!
I just then need to be Aware! That’s it. It’s that Awareness that my ego loves to challenge. Agree?
If yes, then isn’t the ego Good? Isn’t my ego doing everything that should invoke my Awareness? I wonder if the real purpose of ego is to make me Aware!
And therefore I don’t think ego is Bad. Whatever he does is to make me Aware, so that my Awareness eradicates him. So anything the ego does is in fact to get himself destroyed! Remember the story wherein Raavanadid everything to finally get himself destroyed by Rama?
Am I still Sleeping?
What else then I am supposed to do? I cannot really ‘Do’ anything! I can just ‘Be’! Doing is nothing, Being is everything. The thinking of Doing something in fact contaminates the State of Being. Doing is of the lower order while Being is of the higher. Being is vegetative state while Doing an artificial. Being is involuntary while Doing is voluntary. Being is intelligently state while Doing a cleverly state. What is digestion, heart beats, respiration? These are involuntary, intelligent, vegetative systems. And therefore they are perfect! Anything artificial system to replace it like an artificial pacemaker is just human. Same is the case with Being. It’s the Divine state. How extraordinarily great Buddha is!
If I can’t do anything, then can it be called helplessness? Well, absolutely not. I am just not supposed to be doing anything, but Being! This is the only panacea, the philosopher’s stone, perhaps a secret of Life!
And the moment I become Aware, Liberation is not far away! But, can I be liberated now? Well, I can be liberated now, but spiritually. And that is what Being is all about to be precise!
Physically one is bound by the space time continuum. One is bound to undergo suffering which is the result of his past karma. It is this bondage that gives rise to Life of forms. Simple law of Nature!
I got the true essence of Life. It lies just in Being!