We have seen Faith and Fear as our ways to respond to Uncertainty. Love knows nothing like certainty or uncertainty. Love only knows this moment, Present Moment! Like the The Joker in the movie “Dark knight”, Love would say:
“You know…I just Love. The ego has plans. The unconscious people have plans. Fearful people have got plans. You know…they’re schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.” 😊
When I read Anthony De Mello’s book “The way to Love”, my overall outlook towards word “Love” changed drastically. Previously I thought ideal love is that portrayed by Shah Rukh Khan in his movies. I held him as my love guru! I thought love is like “you complete me”, “I can’t live without you” type! Not any more now. 😊
We know Love of God. It’s true. But at the same time I would like to say that God is nothing other than Love. Or Love is God. Love is beyond description. However, here’s De Mello, on Love:
- Non discrimination: Tree doesn’t know bias, prejudice, inclination, beliefs. All these mental constructs are created by our mind. Tree only knows how to give, the Joy of giving!
- Non Expectation: Tree doesn’t expect anything in return. It only knows how to protect anyone from Bright Sun.
- Independence: A tree doesn’t require anyone to express its Love. Even no one like a bird, a bee, a person comes near it, it doesn’t stop emanating fragrance!
- Freedom: Tree is free and at the same time it gives freedom to everyone. Anyone can stay under it, till the time one wills. Tree doesn’t impose any constraints, nor does it have any instruction manual of how to use itself.
- Forgiveness: It continues to emanate fragrance even if one chops it off! Remember what Jesus said at the time of his crucifixion? Oh God, please forgive them for they know not what they do! Can a forgiveness get better than this?
Love is always in Bliss (eternal Joy) and never stops emanating its fragrance! It’s infinite, abundant and free of cost!
I literally “use (in fact, misuse)” love for my own benefit. I feel I love my spouse, my daughter. But really? Why I am afraid of their loss? Why I wish I be with them (they be with me) all the time? Why I expect love in return of my love? Why I impose certain “restrictions” on them in the form of duties (as perceived by me), code of conduct, manners (fear of society), etc? Why I am not able to offer them total freedom? Do I really trust them? Why I try to continuously label them as good or bad? Why I always feel they lack something? Why I become possessive about them?
More magnanimously, why I have my insurance with them as my nominees? Do I really “feed” them? Are they really dependent on me? Why I want them to be dependent on me? Why I take sides and almost always blame them in front of other people as a show of my own grandstanding? Why I “act” to be “forgiving” and expect “improvement” in their behaviour afterwards? Why I share my dream with them? Why don’t I become a part of their dream? Why I try to “teach” them under the false pretence of my sense of duty? Why I feel that it’s me who has sacrificed the most in nurturing the relationship? Do I consider myself as God?
And most importantly, Why I toil so much to “maintain” the relationship? Don’t I have Faith in Him?
When I ask these questions to myself, keeping the points mentioned above by De Mello, I feel that this is all nothing but the ostensible, obnoxious display of my self love! I love myself. A self aggrandising and blatantly illusory image of myself that I have been “dying” to nourish and nurture! Always “seeking love” elsewhere. And this is not Love!
Again I would end this with one quote from The Bible:
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow.
Matthew 6.28
They don’t toil, neither do they spin.
To be continued…
Reinvent The Self! 